I'd like to think I'm the mess you'd wear with pride

Books

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 
                       -Jack Kerouac "On The Road"

After finishing "East of Eden", I have finally begun a new book.  "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac.  It is incredible to me how fulfilled I feel these days.   All of my days are spent at the Provo library, consumed in stories or studying spanish.   I find peace and direction in the hours spent reading and studying.  My life feels more rich.
 
I can't help but be grateful to them, the authors who have shared with me such sacred experiences.  They allowed themselves to be vulnerable and gave.  And because of them, my mind has been opened and I have come to appreciate even more the interactions I have with people and value more, the moments spent in nature.

"...he was left unto himself"


Moses 1:9

 And the apresence of God withdrew from Moses, that his bglorywas not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he cfell unto the earth.


There are times in our lives when we are "left unto ourselves".  It is not due to sin or our own faults but it is because we need the time to think, to ponder, and to grow.  We need to find our passions and ourselves.  

I am "left unto myself".


Tonight, I find my thoughts turn to you:

The boy who I once loved,
 
the boy who I once left.

Never did I imagine that leaving you would bring about the most miraculous event of my life.

In leaving you,  I found myself.


I prayed for you every night.

I longed to hear from you, even to hear just one sentence, but I knew that we needed to travel our separate roads.


And in returning,  I found you.

No longer a boy but a man.