"I got a bumper sticker on my chest that says no regrets, no regrets"
-mason jennings
Imagine this....
You get a thorn stuck in your foot, and it hurts,
but you keep walking because you have a ways to go,
after a while it doesn't really hurt that bad,
so you leave it.
Then you begin to realize that it is still there,
the aching becomes noticeable again,
so you begin to pull the thorn out,
as you pull, it hurts,
but it is a good hurt, because you know that soon the
pain won't be there anymore.
After the thorn is removed,
the spot where it was still aches occasionally,
but not as bad as it once did, and a little while later,
the pain just kind of disappears.
You remember where it was and what caused you to be in pain,
and now you know to look out for thorns.
I think the atonement is a lot like this.
You get a thorn stuck in your foot, and it hurts,
but you keep walking because you have a ways to go,
after a while it doesn't really hurt that bad,
so you leave it.
Then you begin to realize that it is still there,
the aching becomes noticeable again,
so you begin to pull the thorn out,
as you pull, it hurts,
but it is a good hurt, because you know that soon the
pain won't be there anymore.
After the thorn is removed,
the spot where it was still aches occasionally,
but not as bad as it once did, and a little while later,
the pain just kind of disappears.
You remember where it was and what caused you to be in pain,
and now you know to look out for thorns.
I think the atonement is a lot like this.
Just Thinking
Time is winding down. Im nervous, scared and excited. I've never made a commitment like this (at least not one of this magnitude) and frankly the fact that I am leaving what i want and still have to do behind is adding to my feelings of nervousness and making me more scared. The unknown has a tendency to scare me and i have done a good job of avoiding it, haha. See, I love my life the way it is, I have so much that I could be doing, school, making money, enjoying being selfish while I still can (i know that one sounds immature, ha).
But I know that despite all my worries and anxiety, this is what I am supposed to do. I know I am suppose to serve a mission. I have been given so much from God and now I need to do all that I can for him and for those who are in need of the joy that he has given me, of the comfort that he has provided me.
I sometimes feel like Alma the younger, just in that I experienced a moment of being born again, as we all must, and like Alma, I felt that "My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now, i behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."(Mosiah 27:29)
I remember the moment I chose to go on a mission, it was back in december 2010. I was sad, lonely, and unsure my life at the time. I decided in that moment that I needed to pray, so for the first time, in probably months, I got down on my knees and I prayed. I read my patriarchal blessing and I knew in that moment, that I had to leave Hawaii (the only place i ever felt like i was home).
When I prayed, I prayed for comfort and for a knowledge of what I should do. I felt for the first time that there was someone listening to me, someone who knew me and what I needed. I felt a warmth in my body and comfort in my heart. And I felt prompted to read my patriarchal blessing. From there, I was guided to follow the admonition given to Nephi in the Book of Mormon. To go and do as the lord commands.
So I left, and now I am going, faithfully, to serve a loving God, who gave his only begotten son, so that people like me could know what feels like to really stand up.
Here I am standing and ready to walk, however many miles the Lord needs me to and however many miles those in need of the gospel need me too. Because they deserve it.
But I know that despite all my worries and anxiety, this is what I am supposed to do. I know I am suppose to serve a mission. I have been given so much from God and now I need to do all that I can for him and for those who are in need of the joy that he has given me, of the comfort that he has provided me.
I sometimes feel like Alma the younger, just in that I experienced a moment of being born again, as we all must, and like Alma, I felt that "My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now, i behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."(Mosiah 27:29)
I remember the moment I chose to go on a mission, it was back in december 2010. I was sad, lonely, and unsure my life at the time. I decided in that moment that I needed to pray, so for the first time, in probably months, I got down on my knees and I prayed. I read my patriarchal blessing and I knew in that moment, that I had to leave Hawaii (the only place i ever felt like i was home).
When I prayed, I prayed for comfort and for a knowledge of what I should do. I felt for the first time that there was someone listening to me, someone who knew me and what I needed. I felt a warmth in my body and comfort in my heart. And I felt prompted to read my patriarchal blessing. From there, I was guided to follow the admonition given to Nephi in the Book of Mormon. To go and do as the lord commands.
So I left, and now I am going, faithfully, to serve a loving God, who gave his only begotten son, so that people like me could know what feels like to really stand up.
Here I am standing and ready to walk, however many miles the Lord needs me to and however many miles those in need of the gospel need me too. Because they deserve it.
Change is Hard I Should Know
A friend of mine once told me to never settle.
To find what you are passionate about.
To find someone you love.
To find peace.
They told me to never settle.
Never settle for mediocrity because its easier,
never settle for staying because you are afraid.
Change is a beautiful thing.
To find what you are passionate about.
To find someone you love.
To find peace.
They told me to never settle.
Never settle for mediocrity because its easier,
never settle for staying because you are afraid.
Change is a beautiful thing.
Momma
This may be cliché, being that today is mother’s day, but I love my mom.
She is my best friend, she is a confidant, she is so understanding and loving.
She is a musician, a mother, a sweetheart,
a lover of animals, of people, of trying and of giving.
She never judges and always forgives.
She is patient, understanding, so selfless, so beautiful,
sweet, kind, gentle and quite frankly, one of the bravest
and strongest women that I have ever encountered.
She preserves through any trial with one hand holding her family
and the other clinging to the gospel.
She has faith insurmountable. She knows God.
She knows of his love for her and for her children.
She is a woman of peace and of love.
Always wanting to make her children happy,
willing to give all that she has to each one of us.
Willing to sacrifice her own wants to help us attain ours.
With that being said, I love my mom, no matter how cliché it my sound, I love my mom.
is there a way to fix something that could have been the sweetest?
or is it all too late?
someday i hope to figure this out.
'For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.'
or is it all too late?
someday i hope to figure this out.
'For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.'
For the first time in 4 four years I am jumping forward into the unknown. I know what is most important. I know what I want in life and I am getting it. Those times when I feel weak, when I feel sad, when I long for what I once had, I cannot allow those things to affect me any longer. I find comfort in the scriptures, especially in 2 Corinthians 12:7-11. Our weaknesses, our trials, they make us stronger, they humble us so that we turn to the Lord and in turn become stronger than we ever have been. I have faith that this mission will turn me into a better person. That I will be blessed for it in all aspects of my life. I have faith that I will land back on my feet, or even better, back in the hawaiian ocean.
today, im feeling a little blue. I guess I am feeling a lot a bit blue.
need to hang in there.
And Just a side note for me to remember:
I gave all I had, I was open and wanted it to last.
I was told no. I was told to leave. I wasnt good enough.
Priorities were different from what they should have been.
I was always waiting, waiting for a call.
Don't blame me
need to hang in there.
And Just a side note for me to remember:
I gave all I had, I was open and wanted it to last.
I was told no. I was told to leave. I wasnt good enough.
Priorities were different from what they should have been.
I was always waiting, waiting for a call.
Don't blame me
I have to stay focused. I have to continue on in this journey no matter how scared or insecure I may feel. No matter how much I long for my home in hawaii and my friends there. I have always had the tendency to give up, BUT, not this time, because I know this is what i need to to do, for me, for the people in Washington DC, and for the Lord. I never have thought of myself as being good enough to serve a mission, because i have made so many mistakes, but it is time to put the past in the past and remember that with the lord on my side, i will succeed, I will grow, I will be blessed. I know the gospel is true and I cant deny it. so here it goes, me, no longer lingering on the past but looking to the future and the growth Im about to experience.
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